Tuesday, November 1, 2011

WDCBU future outtake teaser

Hello friends!

Yeah, I know I suck at the whole blogging thing.. Let's see if I can get better at it... Anyway, I wanted to share that I changed things up a little bit. I sent off the future outtake of WDCBU to the Fandom4texas instead of the Bella POV. I decided that I would just post the Bella pov, named Landslide, instead of donating it
. For those who have donated they will get chapter 1 of the outtake that I have named The Space Between and if you were not able to donate ( which is understandable in the world's economy) it will post on January 1, 2012. Im not sure how many chapters it will be at the moment since I wanted to take chapter 1 further than what I had, but ran out of time.
I plan on posting a teaser in November and December in hopes to keep you interestered. Without further ado here is November's teaser.

She was wearing a bright red winter coat that made her stand out of the crowd as if everything around her was in black and white. I may not have seen her in six years, but I would know my former wife anywhere. I would know the sound of her footsteps out a crowd of a thousand. I would know her soft laugh. I would know her anywhere.

Until next time....
Take care

Monday, September 26, 2011

Coming soon!!! Q & A

Hello all!!

Since What's Done Cannot Be Undone is in its last chapters and some people still have some lingering questions about Edward I wanted to offer a chance to give some answers. I will be taking questions about this fic and once it is over I will post the answers here on this blog. Let me know if there is some question that is getting to you about that fic and I will do my best to answer it for you.

Until next time...

Take care,

Monday, August 29, 2011

Teaser for ch 11 What's Done Cannot Be Undone

Hello all & happy monday to you!!

Here is the teaser for Ch 11 that will be posted sometime this week.

Son, you need to pull yourself together,” he said in a tired voice that made me laugh sleepily at his naivety.
            “Pull myself together,” I scoffed with a snicker as I opened my eyes to look at father. He looked tired and old. It was as if my troubles were aging him as well.
            “Dad, there is nothing left to pull. Can’t you see? I’m falling apart at the seams here,” I said with a humorless laugh as my father shook his head at me as a flash of anger passed over his features before irritation settled in his eyes.
            “Who’s fault is that Edward?” he asked me abruptly causing my laughter to die out in my throat.
            “It’s hard for anyone to feel bad for you when you have brought all of this upon yourself,” he continued on in an angry tone.
            “I never asked for a divorce!” I raged at him as all the anger I felt over my doomed marriage flooded out of me. My father watched me with a calculating eye as I growled like a mad man in anger to him.
            “No, you didn’t, but what did you think would happen?” he asked me incredulously.
            “What did you think your wife would do when you decided to take up with that young girl? Did you think that Bella would be ok with it and just welcome you back with open arms after fucking that girl in your wife’s bed, in your wife’s home?” he yelled at me in anger. I didn’t know that he knew the specifics about how I was caught with Tanya by Bella. I suddenly felt ashamed for the first time over how I was caught. When Bella had found me with Tanya I had no time for shame. My instant reaction was damage control and not indignity.  Somehow hearing how I was exposed coming from my father’s lips made me feel embarrassed for my poor behavior.
            “Truthfully, what did you think you would accomplish by brining another woman into your family’s home? Did you really think that Bella would turn the other cheek over that type of a betrayal?” he asked as his anger was waning as it turned into astonishment.
            What did I think would happen? I thought I would have Tanya and my wife too. I thought I would punish my wife for caring more about the school committees she was on than her own husband. I thought I would show her that someone wanted me even if she didn’t.
            “I didn’t think…” I started to say as I was going to explain my behavior even though there was no explanation to offer.
            “That’s right. You didn’t think,” dad said with a gruff edge to his tone.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Teaser for Ch 10 of What's Done Cannot Be Undone

Hello All!!
Sorry I missed The Fictionators Teaser Monday. I will post Ch 10 once I receive it back from 3c Cullen. Here is the teaser for Ch 10 : )  Be warned that this clip is not beta'd.

My relationship with my son was in shambles and while I knew it was my own doing, I could not stop from being somewhat irritated by how he behaved as well. He avoided me at all costs unless his mother pushed him into speaking with me, which she typically did.
            I listened as the phone rang and then suddenly Seth was on the line, causing me to stutter with nerves.
            “Hey Seth,” I managed to say as I listened to grunt of a greeting.
            “We are to meet at Luigi’s for dinner tonight. Are you still able to make it?” I asked him, giving him the chance to back out if he needed.
            “No. I will be there,” he said in a bored tone that hurt me since I remembered a time when boys night out together was something that he looked forward to and not dreaded.
            “Do you need a ride?” I asked him, trying not to sound too hopeful as I listened to him breathe deeply before answering me.
            “No, I’ll drive,” he said simply, reminding me of his age and of the fact that Bella had gotten him a car without my agreement.
            “Ok, see you in about half an hour,” I replied and before he hung up on me like he always did.
            Dinners with Seth were trying, but not as trying as what they had been. He seemed relieved to know that I no longer lived with Tanya. He even seemed pleased that I had only lived with her for eight weeks before finding a place of my own. He would never understand that I only lived with her because I could not handle the silence of being alone.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Teaser for Consequences ch 16

Hello everyone!!

I just sent ch 16 of Consequences off to my darling beta....

Here is a teaser for you while you wait. Be warned... it is unbeta'd.

“You helped her?” I questioned as I struggled to regain a normal tone with my sister. Rose looked at me for a long moment with such a sad, yet serious look upon her face. It was a look of disappointment. It was a look that my own mother would have given me if she was here listening to my epic failure with Bella.
            “Why didn’t you…”she started to say, but I cut her off impatiently.
            “You helped her. How did you help her?” I demanded as I took hold of the cooling cup of coffee in my shaking hands. Rose watched me closely as I attempted to regain my composure, while failing at it horribly.
            “She called me and thought it was you,” Rose said thoughtfully as if she was unsure if she should tell about their past exchange.

Take care,

WDCBU ch 9 Teaser...

Hi all!!
Sorry I haven't had a chance to post a teaser here yet.. RL has been trying as of recently, but I'm working on that.

I guess it has been agreed to write a BPOV after WDCBU is finished. I have already started writing it actually. It will start during their divorce.

ok... here is a teaser but beware it is unbeta'd.....

I smiled and waved at Alice, knowing how my greeting would infuriate her. I watched with a growing smile as she stomped her foot like a two year old as she hissed in anger at me. Her blue eyes narrowed as she approached me like an furious little dwarf.
"Alice, so good to see you," I called to her as came to a stop in front of me with a heavy scowl upon her face.
"Eat shit and die Edward," she said in that fake, syrupy sweet voice of her while she gave me a bright, smile that was pure bull shit.
"You first, darling," I said with a low chuckle as she stomped off in her fit of anger.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Teaser for future story...

Howdy all!!

This is a very rough draft of part of a chapter of a new story I am working on. I am not sure of the name, but right now I am calling it Letters from a Broken Heart. This is subject to change though. This is unbeta'd so have a god laugh at me : )
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Dearest Love,
Tonight my daughter, Eleanor asked about you. I had been expecting her to ask about you, yet when she did it caught me off guard. You should see her. She’s beautiful and I can honestly say that I am enthralled with the girl now. Many people think that she looks like her mother with her dark eyes and dark hair, but my own mother stands by the fact that she can see me in her as well. I don’t see it though. Between you and me, I hope she is nothing like me. I hope she is smarter, better, stronger. You know all the things I should have been.
            Like I said she asked about tonight. She saw your picture by my nightstand and gazed at your happy smile, looking more beautiful than what a woman ought to on her wedding day. It seemed odd to have her study you with her curious eyes. It seemed wrong, like she was invading into too much of my personal space, but honestly how much personal space can a person have with a five year old hanging around?
            Elly shocked me when she asked if you were the reason why I never married her mom. Her simple question took my breath away. I had never thought of explaining the mess that is her life as well as mine and her mother’s at such a young age. What can I say? My daughter is bright. 
            I sat there and gawked at her just like any other father who was scared shitless would do. I tried to think of what to tell her since no matter what I said it would be horrible. How do you tell your daughter that she was the living gaffe of a night gone wrong? Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her that. I would never do that to her, no matter how true it might be.
            I took a deep breath and told her the simplified version of the truth. I told her that you were not the reason she did not have a family like her friend, that I was the person responsible. Don’t worry. I will have a talk with her mother and remind her to watch her words in front of Elly since I know how upset that this would make you.
            I tucked her in tonight with images of the past swirling in my head as the time clock on the truth began to tick. I know that the day will come sooner rather than later that I will have to explain to my daughter the circumstances of her birth. I know I will have to explain to her how I failed the woman I loved and didn’t love the woman who loved me enough to even make this fucked up situation right. I will have to expose myself as the cold hearted asshole I am that destroys everything he touches. I will do my best to make sure that she knows that she has not caused this mess. I would never do to her what your mother did to you so please don’t worry about me placing blame on her. I have done that enough in the past and I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. Add that guilt on top of the rest I carry around, I guess. I will tell her that this fucked up situation falls squarely upon my shoulders. I failed everyone, her included.
            I am sorry my love. I had promised you that I would not mention the past again, but I can’t help it after Elly’s question. I can’t stop thinking about all the bad decisions and wrong turns that lead me here without you.
            I miss you, darling. I miss you every fucking day. I miss everything and it doesn’t matter that it has been about six years since we were last together. I still miss you and will miss you until my dying breath.
            I know you must be tired of my apologies, but I will beg for forgiveness for all of eternity. I would do anything if you would just come back to me.
            I guess I just hope that somewhere out there you are happy once more. You deserve to be happy more than anyone else I know. I will pray at night that you to have moved on and found someone to love you how I should have when I had the chance. I pray that the person in your life makes you smile since your smiles could light up the night sky. I also pray that whoever the hell that man is that he understands what a treasure you truly are. I pray that he is smarter than what I had been with your heart and if by chance he isn’t, Bella, please know that I still love you. I will always love you and will always pray for your forgiveness.
 Please come home.
Yours forever,


I will be posting a ch 5 teaser for What's Done Cannot Be Undone a little later.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Teaser time!!!


Here is the teaser for ch 6 of What's Done Cannot Be Undone...

“Did you have sex with her?” she asked me in a calm voice as she looked from my disheveled form to Tanya who subconsciously tugged on her short skirt as if that gesture would make it longer.
            “Bella…” I said softly, trying to keep her calm, but it wasn’t Bella that needed that needed to be calm, it was me. I felt my heart pounding in my chest and even though she wasn’t yelling, to me she might as well have been for all the reaction she was getting from the patron that were standing close by.
            “Did you have sex with her?” she asked me once more as I watched Tanya look from me to Bella as she sniffled loudly before scurrying away from the scene that was being created before her.
            “No, I didn’t have sex with her,” I said in clear voice as she looked at me with her brown eyes blazing. I could not stand to look at her and lie which was odd since in the past year lying to her had never been an issue. I had done it and laughed about it later, but that night it made my stomach sick to lie to her.
            I looked from Bella’s cold eyes to my mother so stood beside my wife. She had such a look of shame on her face.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

It needed to be said....Or.. Sorry KStew fans

Hello, my name is Mamasutra and I do not like KStew. There I said it. It needed to be said. I don’t like her. I don’t like her as Bella. I don’t like her in the movie Adventureland. I haven’t liked her in any movie I have seen her in and yes, I have gone out of my way to watch them.
                I can hear some of you now. The low muttering about how I am a jealous whore or what not, so let me explain myself before you label me as whatever concerning KStew.
                I am not jealous of her. I am not intimidated by her beauty. I do not hate her because of her so called relationship with Rob Pattinson. In reality I don’t hate her over anything, except for her treatment of the fans. If I have missed any other theory that has been tossed out concerning those of us who do not like her please know that they do not apply to me either, just so you know.
I think people who claim that those of us who are anti-KStew are just jealous and that’s why we dislike her need to re-examine their talking points. I am not jealous of the girl. It would suck to be her. Just think about it. The media following you around, snapping pictures, making fucked up claims about you. It would suck!! The girl can’t make a mistake or have an off day without everyone and their fucking brother making a comment about it. She can’t go to lunch with guy friends without the media announcing that she is blowing him. To those of you who are over 30 think back to all the fun things you used to do in your late teens to early twenties…. Yeah. Now think about having those exact times broadcasted on line and having people tweet about them. It would suck, so yeah, I am not jealous.
                I am not intimidated by her so called beauty. To be honesty she is average looking. It was this fact that helped her land the role of our beloved Bella Swan remember??? I am not saying that the girl isn’t pretty. She is pretty, especially when she is all glammed up for some award show, but more times than naught when the girl is photographed she looks like a butch lesbian. Seriously, KStew as someone who went through their late teens & early twenties during the height of the grunge stage, put down the fucking flannel shirt it’s not 1991 anymore.
                Now to refute the most heated claim of all, I do not care about her so called relationship with Rob. GASP! Shocking I know! Yes, I love Rob, but I do not care if she is fucking him. I don’t care if they do it every night and in every position known to man. I don’t care. Honestly, I don’t think they are together. I think it is more likely that he is banging TomStu over her. Blasphemy, I know :)  I don’t have some twisted fantasies of being Rob’s lover. It wouldn’t happen and I don’t live in the fantasy world beyond Fanfic. Actually I am shocked that people are even using this as a reason to dislike KStew when there are so many more valid reasons to dislike her.  
                People the world is full of real issues and things to be concerned about outside of fucking KStew. There is government and its unbalance. There is the pending presidential election coming up and how fucked the democrats are over it. There are things to be concerned about like our debt ceiling and why the hell GM & the banks that were bailed out aren’t paying back the tax payers. There is unrest in the world. Wars on three fronts. Hungry children and how crappy our education system is. Should I go on or have I given enough reasons as to why KStew is meaningless in my life???
                With all of that being said, I now will tell you why I don’t like her. I don’t like her because she is always so damn bitchy. She always seems so unhappy to answer questions for just be fucking decent to her fans. How hard is it to smile when you don’t want to? Fuck, I do it all the time. How hard is it to act grateful towards a group that is paying your paycheck, watching your movies and making sure that you are in demand when it comes to acting? Now before some of you tell me how she is grateful and loving towards the people who made her rich and famous then I will ask to see a fan pic of here where she looks remotely happy, since I have never seen one.
                Really what it comes down to for me is that KStew doesn’t remember the most basic of things and that is that she is a public figure not matter if she likes it or not. She is being watched. Her pay check comes from you and it’s your hard earned money being spent to watch something that she was in. She forgets this and that pisses me off. She is not doing me some favor by being Bella Swan in the Twilight movies. I actually think she was horrible in all three movies of Twilight. (I actually look forward to the last two with giddy delight because I know based on her previous  performances in any movie I have ever seen her in that she will be the most unhappy bride ever on the movie screen.) I think someone needs to remind her that she needs to gracious and a little sweetness goes further than the bitchy attitude she always puts out there.
So, there it is. I don’t like her and it’s because I expect more from the public figures in my world. I expect gratitude and thanks. Maybe I expect too much. Flame me if want. Unfollow me. Do whatever, but don’t accuse me of stupid things concerning her just because I don’t like her.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I will be posting a ch 5 teaser for What's Done Cannot Be Undone a little later.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

What's Done Cannot Be UnDone Ch 4 teaser!!!

Howdy all!!.

It has been forever since I blogged, but  I would like to remedy it by offering a teaser from my new story to appease all you wonderful folks out there : )

I walked in and closed the door behind me, trapping myself in the small room with my father.
            “Well, this visit was unexpected,” I said in the most casual tone I could muster up under the circumstances.
            “Where are you staying at?” he asked me in a harsh tone as his eyes scanned me over as I moved around him to sit at my desk. I had told Bella I had moved back in with my parents as I had begged her to forgive me, but the truth was I had been staying at Tanya’s place. She welcomed me with open arms after Bella had tossed my clothes out on the front lawn while I had been at work over night.
            “What does it matter?” I asked him as I poured myself some coffee from the small pot I had brewed in my office earlier.
            “Just answer the damn question, Edward,” he said as he growled in irritation, but that did not faze me at all. After weeks of silence from my parents I had told myself that their opinion did not matter, even though I was dying inside over the anger in his eyes as he looked at me.
            “Well, after my wife tossed me out I found another place to stay,” I said with a smart ass smile that caused my father to scrub his face with his hand in frustration.
            “You’re staying with the girl you wrecked your marriage over,” he said as a statement, not a question.
            “Well, your mother won’t lie for you anymore so I hope that you know what you are doing,” my dad said and then stood up as if he washing his hands of the mess I had created. I looked at his face and I could see the disappointment etched deeply on his face. It hurt to see that look there and know that I had caused it. It was that look that caused me to break.
            “What do you want me to do?” I asked him in anger, honestly I was hurting and lost over how in the hell to proceed with my life from here.
            “Do you love your wife?” he asked me startling me by his question that seemed so out of the blue the fucked up situation I was in. I looked over at the picture of Bella that as still on my desk. I couldn’t bring myself to put it away, it hurt too much to do it.
            Did I love Bella? I did. I still loved her, but everything was so messed up. I nodded yes and watched my father breathe a sigh of what appeared to be relief.
            “Then act like it, son” he said as he looked at me with a sad look.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Hello Monday!!!

Hello All!!

Good Monday to you!!! I had high hopes over the weekend to have everything ready to update, but I did not get it done. I do have Under the Blood Red Sky ready to type and Consequences ready to type as well. I have an idea as what I want to do with Perhaps Not to Be, but nothing written and the same for Lingering Shadows. I even worked a bit on Betrayed.

Outside of that my mind was flooded with plot bunnies. I have 3 cooking now. Two are angsty and one is smutty with a tinge of angst. Not sure where to go with them. I did talk one over with Parama and she liked the one angst one, but I have not mentioned the others. Who knows???

Anywho, I will be back later with my review of Water for Elephants...

Take care,


Monday, April 18, 2011

OMG!! Not again!!

I have been bit by the plot bunny once more!! I have this idea that is killing me so I will have to write it down for later. Does anyone else ever feel this way??

Monday, March 28, 2011


Howdy all!!!

I posted my one shot Consequences to my ff account. I had to list it as misc book since they rejected Twilight, but I will go abck and change it once I am able to.

What to do, what to do????

Ok,  so I wrote alot for Perhaps Not to Be, but once more I am retracting what I wrote. I think I need to change things up a bit as far as what Bella is doing concerning Edward.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Heads up there has been a change!

Hello all!! You know how I posted a chapter of Perhaps Not to Be here  few days ago??? Well forget it since I have since scrapped it and will replace it with a Bella POV. I will post that here as well as at I just sent it off to the beta so may be soon???

Monday, March 21, 2011


OMG!!! I stumbled upon an idea and I am not sure if my beta can follow this one since it will be basically alot of sex and no drame until closer to the end. Any takers???

Under the Radar for Lingering Shadows

OK,  I submitted Lingering Shadows to Twilighted Awards Under the Radar fics and big shocker to me it was accepted!!! Yay! I filled out the form and turned it back in so look out for that!!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Lingering Shadows

It is my plan to have Lingering Shadows update by Wednesday of this week. I am just saying this so that why my goal is known. : )

Monday, March 14, 2011


what to have for dinner???

The Behind the Lyrics Contest

Howdy all!!

Well, I thought I would post that I submitted a story/ one shot for the Behind the Lyrics Contest on I can't tell you which one is mine, but I will say that I am planning on expanding it into a multi chapter story!! The voting begins tomorrow & while I am sure I won't win anything it does not stop stop me form wanting to!! I know, how stupid is that???

Monday, March 7, 2011


OK, here it goes. I have been following Twitter and for someone who has experienced a bit of the lime light for causing a bad scene I have to say the bitches out there need to get a grip. I am at a loss over this and so here I am.

OK, the story is I guess Snowqueeniceprincess or whatever the hell her name has gotten some so called publishing company to agree to publish her story Master of the Universe.. Good for her. I was not a follower of the story. I started to read it, but I'll be honest, it didn't hold my interest. I didn't understand her Edward and the Bella seemed weak. I would occasionally read the updates that she put out, but that was mainly to see how many chapters she would have over the same day ( I think I counted 7 chapters over the same day once, but don't hold me to that number since I did not write it down).

Anyway......I guess when word got out that she got some sort of a publishing deal and the shit hit the fan in the Twifc world. This is where I come in. I watched a few people seem to implode over the information. It was the same people that I have seen implode before so I was not suprised by this at all, what did surprise me was the tone of their tweets.

These so called writers went on a rant about how bad the story was and how wrong a person was to follow it. I think it was listed something along the lines that a person should be ashamed of admitting to following that story. They listed others things of course, but these were the two big ones. Some even went on to laugh about how some of their tweets cost them followers. They believe that they lost these followers because they were hard core MotU followers.  I really don't think that was the case, but then again I have no proof since I haven't heard anything from these people who 'unfollowered' the people in question. For the record, I haven't asked either because I don't care enough about it.But maybe, just maybe, do you think that they dropped you because what you wrote seemed bitchy and heartless? Maybe because you insulted them?? This is just a theory, of course.

Then there is the huge shit storm that came about from AG posting a conversation that she had with Snowqueern icedragon whatever the hell your name is. Was anyone really surprised by her comments??? I have to ask since I wasn't. This fandom has made some people really think that they are the shit and I don't get it at all.

OK, here it comes... MY opinion over the whole cluster fuck involving the fanfic world imploding the way it has beem should not be too shocking for anyone, I think people need to shut the fuck up!! There I said it and guess what, I mean it, too.

No one really cares about MotU. If it gets published so fucking what right? Does it effect your real life, your bank account, your family or anything else that actually might mean something to you?? NO it doesn't. So get a grip.
By tweeting your hate over the writer getting published it makes you look petty and jealous. OK, I know, before I get tossed under the bus that is our fandom AGAIN, let me say, I know that you are not jealous. I know you will say this as well (even if your actions are speaking louder than your words at the moment), but reread what I wrote **By tweeting your hate over the writer getting published it makes you look petty and jealous. I didn't say you were. I am saying it makes you look that way. It's unbecoming of you too.

Seriously gossip mongers, get a life and let this drop because no one fucking cares except you. It's going to hurt when you fall off your high horse and I only hope that I am there witness it.

Monday, February 21, 2011


Ok, I may have to put the two year old in her chair since she just bumped me and caused me to lose 2000 word of the new Perhaps Not to Be chapter that was BPOV!!! Grrh!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

What's for dinner???

Well it looks like Shepard's pie for dinner tonight> I wonder how long it will take my 6yr old to complain about it??

Happy Post Valentine's Day!!!

Howdy All!!

Hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!! Mine was nice I made a nice dinner for the family and cuddled with the hubs while watching American Pickers. I wanted to watch Eclipe or Remember Me, but he refused stating that he would not 'share' me with Rob that night!! What a dork!

Friday, February 11, 2011


I may lose my mind!! My two year old just delete 2000 words of the EPOV pt 2 in Perhaps Not to Be!!!

Lingering Shadows!!!

I posted the newest chapter in Lingering Shadows!! This is where the story will get good since we now have Edward in the mix and we all know Edward makes everything better : )

Good morning

Well, here we are once more... I do have exciting new!! I have another chapter of Perhaps Not to Be ready to go as well as another chapter of Lingering Shadows.  That is all good!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Good Morning!!

Good Morning All!!

Today I have to grocery shop. I do not believe I have mentioned how much I HATE to grocery shop!! Oh well right????

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Perhaps not to be

I gotta tell you guys Edward is just talking my ear off here about what happened at the office with Bella making partner. I hope this chapter comes out well for you!!

Hello Folks!!

Well, here i am!! This is just a seperate blog that I can mess up and post a bunch of non sense!! UNlike the other blog, Angst - the New Fluff, I do not have adream with one. This is just my dirty little secret were I will post what not about my stories and life. It may bore you to tears or maybe, just maybe it will make you smile. I hope it will make you smile : )